Twenty-Eigth Thought

Transparent thoughts waver to life in my brain
Eyes opening, sparkling silently and unseen
Shooting down my neck, then arms they take fast my hands, and they flutter in a frenzy of type and thought and ___

Like a gyroscope within my heart, it beats forward towards purpose, feeling the momentum build towards some great unknown

Memories flash and flicker dancing with each other across my neurons and synapses
Each changing moment intermittently interrupted with one constant

Moving closer and closer to you
So much to say
So much to hear
Let my lips hold yours, and yours hold mine, and we can have silent conversation
Talk about the things that can't be said aloud
Talk about the things too great for words
You and me

Twenty-Seventh Thought

What is the meaning and purpose to life?
What a question.
The purpose used to be to survive.
Which really is a terrible answer if you think about it.
Our ancestors, just living to survive, living not to die.
More or less living "because".
And then there is religion
fighting to give us that purpose
The concept of God
Kind of like an uber parent
As children we looked to our parents to explain away all the bad things
Shield us from them.
And now as adults, we have the intelligence of, if not the perspective of our parents
They can't make the bad things go away anymore, we have to depend on ourselves
But then there is God
The ultimate parent
As children our intelligence was too limited to understand things as our parents did
and now, fully grown as we are, we need a bigger, vastly smarter parent
Someone so out of our league that they could replicate that sense of safety, assurance, and even unconditional love, as some unfortunately find their parents actually do not posses
Are we programmed, so to speak, to believe in a higher force?
Being afflicted as we are, with the beautiful disease of higher level thinking we can contemplate our own deaths, understand them as an eventuality, and fear them for more than just themselves, but for what comes after, or what might not
We so hate the idea of leaving this world, when we make our afterlife's, they look like prettier version of home
Just echoes of home

The problem with faith being that it requires lack of proof, questioning it provides little comfort
It simply can't defend itself
It needs people to write books for it, people to bamboozle you with emotional appeals and present circular logic and other such fallacies

Of course there is no proof God doesn't exist
In fact, it would be much preferable if God did

But why waste so much time working, tirelessly for goals only to construct new ones to slave ourselves to?
Why not just enjoy what life can offer us? Just become slaves to pleasure, if we have no guarantee it amounts to anything in the end anyway

There's on little catch though.


Love.


It is very easy to be cold, and calculating, and rational
But what about family, what about friends, and romance?
Those things seem too wonderful to... to be accidental
Of course it would be advantageous for the survival of the species to think such a thing, but still

Can one argue against the feeling, of a warm body against their own? The warm embrace of kith, of kin? The kiss of a lover?
I say if God exists nowhere else - God exists in the kiss of a lover

Twenty-Sixth Thought

Beyond these walls a heart does beat
Beyond these walls do secrets keeps
They flow and grow through ruby veins
Mist through the air like springtime rain

Twenty-Fifth Thought

Need to zen, and care a little less
The world shall be as it shall be, regardless of what hormones travel through my veins
It's all okay
The wind keeps blowing
The flowers will bloom
The sun will rise
The moon will wax
The wind will stop
The flowers will wither
The sun will set
The moon will wane
It's all okay

My actions will not change these things, and it is ok
Serenity, a thing to be treasured
Calm
Flexibility
With these things I can embrace the possibilities
Without them I will be tense and rigid, missing out on the beauty that passes me by
Serenity

Twenty-Fourth Thought

Removed.