Stuck here, between classes, in the Library
"Doing work"
Nails badly needing of a cutting typing on the keyboard as I pass the time
Thoughts linger on Saturday last, desiring Saturday next
Dreading Thursday
Not dread - cringing in advance?
Not quite...
I don't think I'll like Thursday very much
Next class is full of presentations
Full of - well you know
Im too tired to listen
Too distracted to care
Wanting out, wanting home, a warm shower and some anime, your voice over the phone
Those caressing waves of sound
Though I'd prefer your caressing hands, the phone will do for now
Until Saturday
When your voice will be undistorted by Cellphone towers and grainy speakers
I want to be home in an empty house, but then I remember it's not empty
My family structure has an expiration date
Good before January 2020
But suspect any time before as well
Hairline cracks are forming, that threaten to become valleys
A renegade and an elder
One or the other will leave first, either by fury and rage of blind youth, or the other a weak heart
And if not a weak heart, by 2020 it is certain old age will claim her
I threaten that structure as well, it will be a natural, socially sanctioned time of leaving, but with all the events before it, it might as well be an escape
Whenever that happens, before 2020
But one must focus on today
What was I doing? Oh right - killing time
I swear it's self defense
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